Gosh, do you ever have those days when you feel "not good enough"/inadequate/dumb/...the list goes on and on! Holy beating herself up day...well mine isn't a day, it's a month! I'm stressing myself out so much that I'm going crazy. I'm moody, I'm not sleeping and therefore relying on caffeine way too much - I'm eating junk and my body and face are paying for it! UGH! Enough is enough...it stops here!
Yeah, easier said than done. My classes are struggling this month...well maybe not, but I feel like they are. I came off an amazing month in March and now class attendance isn't very high. So I feel like a failure. I'm second-guessing myself every minute of every day which let's be honest is very exhausting...
- do my participants think I'm a crap instructor?
- are my participants bored with my workouts?
- do my participants think they aren't getting their moneys worth?
- can they see through my "Life is Great" exterior and see that I'm totally shaking inside???
Ugh I cannot get through this...and you know what? We are talking about SAHMs here - who have a million things on their to-do list, don't get sleep, get sick all the time and probably their not coming to class has nothing to do with me...but that doesn't reassure me.
I wish I had gone to school to study kinesiology or exercise science - maybe I wouldn't feel so insecure...
I wish I had more money in my pocket not to worry if things don't pan out...
I wish I didn't beat myself up so bloody much...
I wish...
I wish...
I wish...
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'm taking a shower and calling it a day...it's 1:15pm now, the Little Miss is sleeping...when I get out of the shower I start Thursday, April 16th over again - and you know what?? It's going to be a GREAT DAY!
xoCaliAlly
Oh sweetie... yes. I think we all have those "not good enough"/"I wish" days. In fact, I'm riding the wishing wave these days, too. It's really hard to be your happy-go-lucky self when inside there is such turmoil, and I know I end up taking it out on the hubs... :( Hopefully you step out of the shower a NEW WOMAN and realize that you have a WONDERFUL new career that is just getting off the ground, has great potential and will have good months and bad months and it really truly has NOTHING to do with you. You are a GREAT inspiration and motivator, your ladies love you I'm sure. Take a deep breath, and SMILE. :) xo!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are my inspiration and I am certain you are a great motivation to the women who take your classes. Hang in there, kiddo! Love you lots. Lynne :) “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”
ReplyDeleteAlison! really if you could see yourself through my eyes you will see how amazing you are and that you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about! You are nothing but a great instructor, a wonderful and dedicated super-mom and wife and the friend I can't do with out! I know sometimes we are our toughest judges, but really, don't beat yourself up! We all have a lot of wishes, but know that you were the answer to one of my biggest prayers! Chin up and I just know that tomorrow it will be a "bring-it-on, I kicked-ass" day!!!! Love ya'
ReplyDeleteEveryone has these days and you know what, I bet you are a great instructor - and you are right mummies to have alot going on. Is it school hols because of easter? maybe the mummies are just away?
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself - although I know its easier said than done.
Good for you! We all have these days. We all have them a lot! This too will pass.
ReplyDeletexoxo
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